It’s all getting overly dramatic in chez shameless.  let me explain

so i was in londres today for vez important meeting which i called together with v. important people and i thought i should perhaps grab miself something to eat before, y’know to get the blood sugar going, pump the juices etc. i was thinking about it on the train on the way up.  but i had no cash on me and the cash machine charges 1.755 robbing bastards. so i cut my nose off to spite my face and did without. as it happened there was a meeting three hours earlier and the leftover posh butties were left in the kitchen, so i helped myself to the two quarters of stale cheese andpickle sarnies – the only two left – yes indeed they were that foul. however there were some rther scrummy choccie biscuits. nice.

i was still on the train home at around 7pm and having eaten nought but half a butty and three minature posh choccie biccies, my emotions got the better of me and i seriously started to get watery eyed on the train thinking about all the recent events. so i pulled my trez chic (20’s stylee croched avec croched flower by ear) had over my eyes and pretended to go to sleep.

when i got home there was only me and dh – he had the day off today and he made me scrummy meal and brew, he had hovered, done kitchen sides and emptied the bins ( more than i do on my day off) and as i was eating my tea he told me that the GF came over today to pick up some more stuff.  dh was on the computer upstairs and heard ds2 ask where his brother was staying and she replied that she couldnt tell him as ds1 said not to becuase he would tell me.

ds said, oh well, not seen him for two days a few more wont matter.

so dh is reciting this little story to me and i start to blub – proper blub. anyway after i ate my tea i was fine – the kids didnt see the blubbyness as they were out – and as everything would get back to ds1 via teen gossip network, i am chosing what i say to them and others like BIL and SIL as they see him too.

i hav mae my mind up and i amd going to tidy the bedroom he and the gf shared with ds2 and put his stuff into black bags. for extra shameless drama i might take to her mothers and leave outside. the mother is a cow anyway so it will literally be a drop and scarper – rough as fuck sort.

ds1 has been to see bil and sil today and gave his version of events = he did say that i hadn’t chucked him out – but said that he said ” if she’s going hen i am”

“on no , that’s not what he said” says i to b&Sil “fuck you and fuck this house is what he said” bil is oistin that he spoke to me this way and dh says ds1 might not be welcome there again.  peoplekeep saying that it might be the kick up the arse he needs – great. hope so. shame it has to be this way.

he really truly and honestly believes that he has thepower, that he can hurt me by not seeing me and making me worry – telling people that he was kipping on streets when he plainly wasn’t – that type of thing. i hope to reclaim my power by chucking his stuff out and making sure that all who talkto hi know – i am not crying and wailing for his return i am angry.

no one will see me cry but dh.

i want my power back. i am Mother. Gaia. i have power. i reclaim it