I DID IT! July 3, 2008

not exactly lik the post below but i got he courage to tel the teacher what i wanted.

I let two teachers rant on at me for 10 mins ….about PE KIT

i remained quiet. it was 8 am - Jacob had already ben a prat andi am a total bitch before a fag and 2 brews - and ihad been up for 40 mins and had one brew - hurredly.

“jacob leave the room please i want to talk to your teachers” says i…..all officious like!

“i have asked jacob to leavebecuase i don’t want him to witness fractured authority…”……fkin fractured authority!!  !”…Yesterday when i answered thephone you said “sorry for waking you” i woul ike to inform you that i a often up ready ad out o theouse before the children as is my husband. we are not a slatern family

” oh no…i didn;t mea n…i am so sorry”

“apology excepted.  i will ofcourse hae words with jake but aquite frankly if you can get him to care about anythng i will personally give you a gold medal. “

 

i said lots more - i said the bit about my three children…the grunt..average….but he is so bright.

 

i said that.

 

i felt so bloody proud of myself - tat i carried on the theme when i got to work and asked my boss straight out ” have i done something wrong - i a m getting funy vibes”

” bad night” he said - he has a small daughter.

 

meeting went fine

got some ideas for work

my medical exam today.

supposed to be a 12 hour fast.

i am having sugarless  black coffee ….i can’t drink water in the am.

 

i drink black coffee anyway . so snot too bad.

 

went to bed at 10 didn’t manage to sleep immediatley DH came up at 11.30 and said i was flat out - which is good becuase i thought i was awake a lot longer than that.

up at 5.15 am  bath, dh ironed my clothes hes a love, i have doing that shit.

have to set off at 7.10 for work

 

better get sorted then!

 

ps. jake is banned from puter - the box is downstairs and dh had blocked the game

LIVID (EPIC) July 2, 2008

I WENT TO BED A LITTLE OVER MIDNIGHT. i can’t sleep. i have a meeting in the morning with school, i also have a meeting in london amnd i am getting weirdy vibes from manager. am over thinking things.

so in bed i am playing through what i would like to say to PE teacher tomorrow.

Pe teacher phoned me this morning at 8.05 - kids had gone to school at 8 am as always. i was up ironed my clothes, done hair etc ready for work when he phoned ” sorry to wake you” he begins.

fucking wake me? cheeky fucker. i can’t get over it. and no contrary to popular opinion i won’t be charging in with my gutteral accent efing this and effing that.

In school meetings i have always supported the teachers, i dont want the kids to see fractured authority.

so there i am in bed thinking things over - i start having a conversation - it plays:

me: ” jacob wait outside i want to have a word in private with mr x.  Mr x, i was surprised at yourcomment when answering the phone yesterday morning. It rather gives me an indication of what type of home you assume  Jake comes from.  FYI, my dh is up at 5 am working in London and doesn’t return until 7pm.  I am up at 7 am to make sure the kids are ready for school and to get ready for work.

Mr x, dh and i both value education, we both have degrees - just a little background. Now i know my children and their abilities, i have no illusions. My eldest son is a worker bee, an ant a grunt. he has always enjoyed being industrious. i am sure you kow children like that Mr x? children where academia is wasted - it wastes your time and theirs. My daughter is average. if she tried i am sure she could come away with 8 respectable ‘c’s - but she won’t as her popularity is more important. i suspect that she will do re-sits then a-levels then go to some mediocre ex poly university and get a distincly average degree.

Jake however is different. Jake is lazy. He is not your average lazy. he is thoroughly lazy to the bone. But he is bright. When a teacher inpires him he dives into a subject. he had a science teacher like that and desperatley wanted to move up a group. but no. there are rules and procedures …maybe next time. There was a maths teacher and jacob desperatley wanted tommove up a group - he felt ( like sacience) he was good at maths and didn’t deserve to be in the group he was in. …no…there are procedures …maybe next time

next time didn’t come. the spark went and the education system has completely failed him.

 

Now Mr x. yo can give im detentions every day - he willnot change. you don’t care enough - you can’t you are too busy - you have lots of pupils and procedures and guidelines. you have ofstead inspections and epartment meetings. you have a government agenda to deal with.

This education system has failed my son. This school has labled him becuase of his grunt older brother and his gobby sister. he never really had a chance.

The reason he doesn’t have the correct pe kit mr x, is becuase its two weeks until end of term. it would be a waste of money.

Jacob informs me that his coursework is on the school computer and he has asked you to help him print it off  - but you dont have the time.

i suggest Mr x. that you stop labling my son and just help him a little.”

 

i replayed that a thousand times ina thousand diferent ways and then decided to come downstairs becuase i couldnt sleep.

i noticed the twins bedroom door open and emmas bed empty - i saw a n outline of a body in the other bed and assumed it was emma - emma who has recentlygot a boyfriend andis v. serious with him. immediatley i thought she had somesecret rendezvouz int he midle of the night and had crept out.

 

i went to the tent in the back garden where the children of our guests are staying - i woke them up frantically ” have you seen emma” i searched the room again - and there she was - the body isaw was emma - where the fuck was jake?

i ran downstairs again and there he was. i knew immediatley. it came out that he was hiding under the table. he crept down to go oon his game ont he computer.

 

at 2am.

i am fuming

 

fucking fuming

 

he wants to be a carpenter - a grunt

he should be something amazing. - he isn’t my favourite child  - i just have the real measure of them all.

 

he cant be fucked with school

school can’t be fucked with him

 

and to be honst neither can i anymore.

i am sick to death of the arguments with him, i ask him to do something there is always a smart reply -i want to kill him.

i ignore him - thats fine

i take his computer off him durin the week -  thats fine. he doesn’t care

he doesn’t care - he is lazy.

 

how often has this happened? who knows.

now i want to say ” Mr x, jacob is an ungreatful, rude arrogent spoiled little shit. igive up mr x.  - fuck this. i can’t believe that i have re-arranged work, trains, parkig for this shit. fuck it. do your best - i am through.”

 

fuck this.

 

Happy Monday June 30, 2008

Just noticed that the stats are over 10 k BONZER!

everything at home has calmed down now, the weekend cane and went - nothing really happened - didn’t really do anything or go anywhere - dh and i both realise that BIl and SIL have now a lot of cash and we just can’t pay for them both as we are moving soon.

 

they sorted out someof their stuff sot hat there was room to move in the living room - and so that the dining room table was free .  I didn’t really realise until afterwards how irked i was about it.

 

It feels great that the kids can sit and eat at the dining room table - it means a lot to me - its just one of those ‘things’ it wouldnt mean anything to most other people but i need somewhere for my kids to eat.

trying to sort out an appointment for an insurance medical.

have to write a strategy for work

have to sort out appraisel stuff for work

and most of all i seem to have lost a shit load of paper work from work which is really bothering me. aaaaaaaaargh

It’s been a hard week June 27, 2008

Everyone just exploded on wednesday. The twins were winding me up moaning like ungrateful little gits about how they have to share a rooml, share the x box, share this share that

 

i am like ffs you spolied brats - imagine if ds1 had done something so terrible that we have to leave him behind and not talk to him ever again. imagine that on top of that - you had to give up your friends, home, school, your whole life to keep you safe.

put you can’t share a fucking xbox or room - you can’t be nice to them fro 2 weeks until everyones accom is sorted?

well all holy shit let loose - and arguing in whispers makes it worse. I tried letting dd calm down - ushered her to the garden - let her have her space until she spoke to me 10 mins later. the attitude is terrible and i was feeling like a proper twat in my own home. you know when other people judge you in the supermarket for shouting at a toddler? well thats how i felt. nothing needed to be said - in fact they all kept in the front room well out fo the way

 

it went on for ages then ds2 got involved and started going on about how unfair everything was - we are all shouting at each other  when dh walks in - he gets involved and the kids were so obnoxious. attutude terrible he went for ds2(15) and tried putting soap in dd’s gob for huge amount of swearing. ( what is this the 1950’s?)

anyway - things are strained - from DH trying to protect me he is now villain - i told him if he ever did that again i should phone police - thing is we have put 25k down and exchanged on house. it limits my options.

we were getting on so well. its like he just went and shagged someone, completely broke my trust. v. devoed.

cousin doing well! am glad. she deservs it.

 

have told them to go to present themselves as homeless.

have got umpteen job apps in for dbil

have asked the ASB unit oop north what would happen if they reported it - as the police cannot be involved - they are too scared.

you see if they dont report it then it wont count towards their Housing application - catch 22

 

anyway the asb e-mail sad that they can ask for it not to be taken further - so i shall put that to them and tell them that first thing monday they need to get themselves to the housing office.

i am feeling a little out of sorts - but am prone to dramatics where othre people would just get on with things.

 

i am off out tonight getting wankered. ok i have to go out with dh and dsil ( if she wants to come, not exactly a big drinker) will defo gte wankered and play pool - don’t really have to speak when you play pool.

will try and keep you a little more informed. am just aware that some of this stuff is not about me and my family - which i feel i have perfect right over - but its other people and other peoples family and how they are impacting on my family and it all gets a little blurry.

on top of everything else the insurance company want a medical exam to assess how long i am going to live for. - well that is what its really for.

 

i really fucking wish i hadn’t put that deposit down.

love the house

 

but shit wank shit wank

 

things at work are shit - thats becuase i don’t give a shit - and it shows. - its all my fault.

HMcFck and other things June 23, 2008

DH went back to Lancashire to help his Brother and family  move his stuff.  BIL & SIL have surrendered their house to mortgage company! BIL in particular doesn’t even want to set foot on that street ever again.

so he hired a  huge van and they moved everything they own into my house.

 

my sheds are full and my house looks like a bomb has hit it.

 

I spend friday tidying up for their arrival, taking out television down and going to charity shop to arrange for it to be collected - we want a new one anyway - and they have this huge thing that might as well go in its proper place.

 

I am going to phone the homelessness department. it will be years before they get a house anyway - and they might consider them to have made themseleves intentionally homeless - becuase what they can’t say is that they have been threatened by a known drug dealer  - becuae they can’t reeport it to the police.

 

and it sounds a likley story - i work in housing and we hear all kinds of made up shit - can you imagine trying to get this one to fly?

Then there was the issue of trying to secretly get all their worldy good into my house so no- one knew.  but estate kids were round us like flies on shit - and no matter how hard i tried. i couldnt get rid - so BIl backed a huge van onto our drive and right up to the front door.

SIl bought me flowers yesterday which was nice

 

MIL & FIl came down yesterday too. and so i have been trying to play hostess all weekend - SIL has offered to help of course - but she shouldn’t really have to she has been through so much but cooking for 11 - 13 people is not an easy task

 

i sternly said to Neice and BF -” right you two wash the pots please” and they did. i think neice is firghtened of me ( she is 14) which is good - i will keep it that way.

I have got the school forms and when BIL comes back we will register them at the doctor and the dentist.

I work near a Tesco so i will do some more shopping tonight. i am defrosting chicken so will make a curry. i think SIL has big ideas about sorting things out today - BIL went back up north as he has to work his week in hand - and DH and I are at work as per, so it’s probably best that she keeps herslef busy - ro else she would crack up.

its nice to have your own space though isn’t it - and its so rude to go on the computer when they are there.  talking of computers - i Made DH take his computer apart and sort out his wires -the whole area was a mess.  They have huge huge mahoosive computer desk and it seemed sensible to put it where a computer desk should go and remove ur v. old. broken. split and graffitied computer desk - when putting computer back together,  one of dh’s external hard drive didn’t work - he is gutted and talking about buying a new one. ffs.

BIl is sleeping in a cabin at work to finish his week.

 

i should really ring the homelessness dept. its a bit difficult at work though.

oh - had my drum lesson. it was *fine* and only that - i get overly anxious and i am having serious words with myself to chill the fuck out!

ds apologised to me and gave me a hug. he said he was sorry for part of the argument but not all and he was sorry for scaring me. I can respect that - I was n’t exactly an angel either ( damn close though!)

anyay i hate the ’stench’ of rows int he air - and he has been amazing with nephew ( aged 5) playing football in the garden and  x box.  Nephew has got much boy crush on my son. to the point of eating an extra burger WITHOUT sauce becuase thats what my ds was doing! cute.

Spoke to rhubarb, hope her ds gets better soon - scarlet fever ffs!

spoke to bestest cousin. i think she is holding up remarkabley. havent spoke to NAN - SHIT - i must speak to nan. will do that at dinner time.

 

right am signing off for now.

Amongst All The Other Drama June 15, 2008

…lets not forget about the small stuff that is my life. 

Happy Fathers Day

 

i am sick to death of hearing that shit today i can tell you

“make me a brew darling…it IS Fathers Day”

“oh go on then love, a bacon butty…it  IS Fathers Day!”

this went on all crappin day

went to a carboot this morning - the kids got some small stuff. came back dh played on a game with ds  - DH and i watched BSG - OMG OMG OMG mid season finale

they found earth. shit ..you not… in partnership with …the cylons. when i say eath i mean - i think they landed in new york - of course. only it was all blown up to shit with no survivours …that we see anyway.

DS2 bought DH a film - some french film dubbed into ENglish called “Taxi” and he also bought him 2 packets of aero bubbles.

DD went into town and bought him a beer glass that you can freeze and a helium balloon and  DS1 came home from Butlins and gave him a card and a keyring ( totally down to the GF - he wouldnt have thought of it himself)

so fethc me fucking kiss my arse all day “But it’s fathers day!” got to a point where i said ” I DON’T GIVE A SHIT”

SO spoke on phone with Suzy i think she is feeling a little alone in the evenings - its something i can empathise with but mot sympathise with - as an only child it sounds great - kids in bed - your own space - own tv, puter when you wnt - the food that you like - but i think she is just like her father - he can’t stand to be on his own.

 

however sounds like she is putting her foot down a little - as she broke up with her partner of seven years ( did i tell you? i think i did) anyway its been about threee weeks now - and he just opens the door and comes in - he says he will pick the kids up at a certain time and saunters in an hour late, he asks to borrow money - he has a bath at her house and she has been going along with it becuase she wants to remain friends - the break up of her mum and her dad  was totally bitter and forever since they split up they have detested - nay hated each other with a passion - and she doesn’t want her kids to feel the way that she obviously does - a ship between two harbours so to speak - so she has tried for three weeks to be amicable and i think she lost the plot this evening and told him where to get off.

 

he went on the piss last night then came late to pick up the kids - she had already given him money for fathers day and bought him a little something extra from the kids. he them presumed that he would be stayig for 3 hours at her house with the kids and she asked him to take them out somewhere and he said he had no money and then went on to say that he might be asking her for a ‘borrow’ tomoz.  I think at that point she lost the plot and told him to fuck off royally. quite right too. i would have told him to fuck off ages ago - in fact i even offered  to help her with a little auto criminal damage. she comes across as a typical bolshy Oldham Lass.  but shes a softie with a heart of gold - a little flaky at times but shes family - shes my family and i haven’t got a lot of them left. i literally ave her and my nan - and at a push her dad my uncle - but he is huge fuckwit- lets not talk about it. Don’t get me wrong she could stick up or herself in ruck - but she has been soft as shte - when i was up there i was getting annoyed at this “i want to to stay friends ” bollocks.

you know that song from beautiful south ” i need a little tiiiiiiiime”

” you had a litle time nd you had a little fn, didn’t ya didn’t ya

while you were having yours did you think i had non - did ya did ya

the freedom that you wanted back

is yours fr good

i hope yourglad

sad into unsad”

 

that verse i think sums up the whole thing - the partner was like - well i don’t know if i love you

she was like  - well don’t let me keep you here

he was like - right then fine

and i think he backed himself into a corner  thinking she would disintegrate and dry noooooooooooo don’t leave me ….how will i ever live without you.

and she just didn’t

she has college - she is at the moment doing her GCSE’s she is doing fantistically well- A’s and B’s across the board - with two kids and a relationship break up just as she was starting her exams. she managed to get the college placement at the last mnute, she sorted out a child minder and picking her daughter up from school and getting transport to and from college in time for the logistics of the above and get to class on time - and she has done it. and i thik he is jealous that she is doing well. i really do. and i thinkthat he is scared of what the future may hold and i think that he can’t enjoy her success - yo know what he said to her? he said ” how hard can it be? 15 year olds do it”. I mean for that remark alone i would gladly do his windscreen.

anyway before the Hmcfck phonecall earlier today she said she was coming down in a couple of weeks when her exams finish - just for the weekend and just with her daughter.

i was like yeah sure great.

 

i had to cancel the holiday. her and her partner were supposed to come. but its driving to holland and she can’t drive. and it was a ‘thankyou’ thing for being so supportive - now she doesn’t get a holiday and we lose money and she doesn’t even see a ‘thank you’ thing for being so supportive when my mumd ied - she was a total fucking rock.

its all crap for everyone at the moment.

More… HMcFck June 15, 2008

so FIl rang yesterday evening - Dh had had 3 or 4 cans and male bravado had set in.  He tolf FIl that he was pissed off that BIL hadn’t rang to say what he was doing and told im we had even offered to pay this months mortgage for him - but without a phone call to tel s what he is doing we can’t just keep mney to one side just in case and he told FIL that it wasjust not on really. that they had stayed hee for a couple of weeks and not even a phone call.

 

This evening.  early on BIL phones. they ae coming down for good. can we help him sort things out and can we help him get the kids into schools and get him a job etc etc. DH said no problem.  BIL said it woul be in a couple of weeks.

 

Cue phone call 10 mins ago from SIL. nearly in tears gives ME the real skinny.  Bil has been living across the road at his mums.  he cannot even face going back to the house.  his garage was robbed, his large above ground outdoor pool was robbed and to top it off, when they originally fled leaving Niece’s BF in charge ( who is a really good lad) someone - someone obviously a ‘friend’ of BIls was in the house and they have stolen the kids CD players. All that on top of being threatened by a known ganster for something Nephew has done. ANyway Bil’s head is fucked - sil is in bits becuase he won’t even go across to the house.  Things came to a head this evening and they had big ‘right we are splitting up’ argument becuase they can’taford to transport SILs beloved horse which she absolutley adores - down here.

The upshot is she and her two kids (teen and 5 year old) are coming down Saturday.  Yip you heard me SATURDAY. she is currently throwing things in boxes ( where the fuck those are going to go is beyond me - thank fuck we cleared the shed out this weekend - lets hope we can waer proof it?

 

and they will be here without BIL for about 2 weeks.

 

now before they had the tent for the teen her BF and the 5 year old. As the BF isn’t coming down (YET he will with BIL) i am assuming that it wont be a tent in thegarden jobbie and thatthey will all have to share a room.

 

and fuck me if we didn’t just today - put DS’s matress o te skip - thinking he can sleep on Ds1’s bed ( whilst he is at butlins)  until we move.

so the top bunk hasn’t even got a matress on it. - the girl will have tosleep top bunk with blow up matress! SIL and kid will have to share the double.

 

crapin’ ‘ell.

its all very fraught  - SIL told me BIL was taking suicidel - i mean its bad man, he is really fucked up. he needs to just break away.

 

this means i have to move my drum it from the living room - it will have to go in my room so that little fingers dont break it.

 

i dislike little fingers!

The Girl Who Slept in my Shed and Other Animals. June 14, 2008

So today we went into town. It’s a saturday morning ritual really, went into superdrug where DS1 GF works.  y complete coincidence we managed to get served by her and she asked her collegue if we could use their discount card ” this is Joe’s mum and dad” the GF said

“i know” said the other girl ” Don’t you remember me?” she said to me

“errr…”

“me and my friend slept in your shed once”

“my shed?!”

” yeah, don’t you remember - you found us and said ” have you got no homes to go to?!”"

cue me leaving shop pissin’ miself laughing. That must have been 4 years ago - and it was such a ‘me’ thing to say.

so funny.

Yesterday i decided to go to Tesco express to buy some stuff for the week - this is becuase its quicker and i dispise food shopping with a passion.  Jacob came with.  Things between he and i have been good lately, i think its becuase Joe is gone and so the arguments and blaming each other isn’t in the picture.  As soon as we get into Tesco he turned into an obnoxious brat.

“chose your cereal then” says i

<imagine kevin the teenager> ” Goooooooood, i don’t know whyi bother ” says he ” you only tell me i can’t have it anyway”

“no, i just say you can’t have chocolate coco pops for breakfast”

“NO, you just say i can’t have anything,  i don’t even like co co pops”

He always goes or the sugar and i say - think about it - this breakfast has to be for the both of you and last a week, don’t get something that yo ar going to snack on and don’t get something full of sugar.

“what are you gettin’ the arse on with me in the middle of Tesco for?” says i not too quietly.  “Don’t try to embarrass me jake becuase i guarentee we will both leave here looking like twats”  yeah i know. nice. I gave him my keys ” get in the car” says i.

 

t’was forgotton by the time we got home - i hate being the sounding board for his public dramas.

 

anyway he is back with ‘Becky’ from the private girls school - he only goes out with girls from the private girls school

go where the money is son

go where the money is!

USM DRUM KIT June 12, 2008

Came today.  I Spent hours putting it up - thinking ” oh i will just do the fiddly bits and dh can do the technology”

 

but i sat there looking at it for two minutes thinking ” how hard can it be”

anyway - up shot is i did it.

 

its well cool

i have a fucking drum kit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

am getting a music stand on saturday.

at the moment my music is duct taped to a moving box!

 

the bass pedal is a bit keen and i can’t hear the snare above the ‘real sound’ of hitting the pad itself - but am thinking with some wireless earphones - this won’t be a problem.

 

at my next lesson i am learning an AC DC  b ack in black

 

its about the easiest rock beat - i gather

 

watched a few on you tube- piece of piss

lots of things June 12, 2008

i got realy down after they all left.  BIl says that he will let us know whether he wants t come back on friday - i dont think they will.

 

so excitement galore - its he minutaei of MY life.

ok kkkkkkkkkkkkso had my third drum lesson - he said it was the best yet - things are getting too complicated to play with imaginary drums - so i have bought a USB kit - its a cheap o thing that plugs into your puter and you can wear headphones - its got all the pads fro the drums and the cymbals - its being delivered tomorrow.

i don’t think i told you that i had FOUR inches cut off my hair.

 

i love it. its still past my shoulders - but it looks like i give a shit. i was seriously getting too old to pull of the Janis Joplin shit.

completing on the move to our new house on the 18th July - exciting! have sourced local bedford van place.

DH brought some boxes home.

i have reported some small repairs.

HMcFck June 10, 2008

They have gone. Back to sort things out and they say the will be back in a few weeks.  BIl got straight in his car wihout giving me a hug - and i wasn’tgoing to let that one go - so i said ” oi you!”

“i don’t do goodbyes” said he then he started to cry - he doesn’t want to go backt o that house - i started to cry - i told him to stay - but he wants to get things sorted. i told him DH would be up like a shot - just a phone call

 

i know i have bitched about the petty stuff ( bog seat) but BIL is so sad. he is sad all the time. Now angryi can deal with, obnoxious - easy - but sad. not blubbing - just sadness. i just want things to go his way for a bit - he has had some shit over the last year

HMcFck June 10, 2008

well got home yesterday and they were still here - the evening went along as per usual when i couldnt help myself at the dinner tale ” any decisions made yet” i said ” i need to go shopping”

“lisa!” said dh exasperatedly

“am only askin’!” says i “

later on last night we all had a long chat and discused their options - they have to sell their house - becuase of the bad thing that happened - they no londer want to be there. they say they want to move down here and the kids will finish out the end of term up there and they willbe back in 5 weeks.

 

Dh says he gives it two before we get a phone cal saying they are staying up there.

 

I(’d be surprised if it was that wong to be honest!

have they gone home? June 9, 2008

without a word?

 

after not being able to contact them on the phone - dh contacted MIL for BIls Mobile.  “oh are they on their way back then?”

 

withoput even a goodbye?

 

 

HMcFCK June 9, 2008

Still no change in the situation dh reminded me that “we have to just be supportive” yes yes ok s’pose.

They are getting worried that the school board is going to be on their back becuase they aren’t sending the kids to school. very indicative of Estate V’s Authority syndrome.  Whereas i would be phoning them in sick. then getting a holiday form. dammit - i might even tell the truth!! shock horror.

i like to organise things. i want to organise the school and i want to organise the housing and i want to organise their move in conjunction with ours - i want them to move their black in bag of clothes from my DINING ROOOOM.

i want to know when i can hand my notice in and get a pre-termination inspection. ( i can ahrdly do that with another whole family bunking with  us can i?

i need to phone my landlord for repairs to the fencing - but there is a big chuffin tent in the way!

i want to sit in my back garden without the dulcit tones of “lisaaa, lisaaa, lisaa, lisaa” from the kid. i swer to god - he is a good kid - but he only has 5 mins on any given thing and then everyone else is expected to find some other form of entertainment

 

and then i get old granny thoughts ” my kids couldnt even have toys like that…in my day my kids would have been thankful to not play with a potato!” ok ok i embelish slightly. and i so want to say ” its that or nothing kid - leave me alone”

i reiterate - he is a good kid - its just that i can’t really take to small people. i try my best - and on visits to people i am really good - i know there is an end in sight and sometimes i actually quite enjoy it. I think thats the point.  I need an end ‘ i have to be pleasant to xx weeks’. i can do that. i can.

but as soon as its ‘you have to be pleasant forever’  no sireee …as the Great Fred Durst says ‘it’s my way , my way or the highway. i don’t don’t give a fuck and you don’t don’t give a fuck what you say about me - its my way or the highway” or something a bit similar.

i mean if they were staying - there would be rules.

Rules

1) put the toilet seat down

2) your kids have chores too

3) ….. errrr am struggling

 

see - they aren’t that bad. i have people in my space - thats all. sometimes it’s bound to rub a little no matter how much you love them

 

but the thing is i would like them to stay - i would like to be able to bounce off then - visit each other - go round for a brew etc. would be nice

 

i know deep down that they will be gone by saturday.

 

 

i have problems June 8, 2008

just two minutes ago a coldsore decided to appear on my top lip - and my nose is throbbing?! so i hope it doesn’t spread.  We have inspectors in at work tomorrow and so i have to be extra diligent ( well lok like it) same on tues and i am in Londres on wed. busy busy work work bang bang -  the bil, sil, sils dd, sils dd’s bf, and sil,bil’s ds are still here - they said tha they would make a desicion as to whether they are staying down here permentantly by weekend - but they haven’t - basically sil will do whatever bil says is best and he won’t make a decision - i think that he is waiting for circumstances to make the decision for him.  he is on MSN all the time and his friends are saying come home come home - but their rater lage outdoor pool ( above ground thing) was nicked from their backyard - and their garage was broken into last week. this is becuase the whole estate and their numerous dogs know that they aren’t living there at the moment.  so i think that he feels erm….betrayed - does that make sense - like betrayed by the community where he thought he knew everyone and he talked to everyone.  they were taking about getting the kids into a school earlier - but i think they are just shootin shit at the moment.  Then i heard sil say to someone on the ohone that they might be back up on tuesday or wednesday - I NEED TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. i have to give my notie in on this property as we are going to move and i need to know whether they are going to take over the tenancy or not - if they don’t - then they have fucks chance of mvign down here ever - its really a now or never situation here.

HMcFck June 6, 2008

cue amature psychology here - bear with me.

right.  i dont give a right lot away in terms of facial expressions and have been accused of being a snob many many times.  this is because i don’t give off a warm vibe - somepeople do - but i really have to try to do this.

when i did live on an estate i didn’t talk to many people, i didn’t socialize a lot - i wasn’t around in everyones house getting the goss.

i’ve always been fairly insular. that doesn’t mean i am a friendless freakazoid - it just means that i don’t shoot shit with people i hardly know.

I know that i come across this way to DH’s family.  i am always aware of what they might think of me and so until we moved 300 miles from them, i didn’t really entertain anything but a fairly formal relationship with them - well y’know for inlaws.

so that said. I have been making an extra special effort not to come across as the ice queen from hell.  i know i can. as an only child i really like my space  but my BIL & SIL are really nice people and i am trying really hard to make them feel welcome

yesterday i put up a paddling pool for the 5 year old and looke after him for a couple of hours - whilst his mum and dad had a sleep.

i am really not cut out for this shit and two hours was enough - i know - i know - i am a horrible person - they are in their time of need and i can’t cope with a kid for a few hours.

i woke them up

i know

i am a twat

they weren’t pleased.

i feel shit.

in my defence (ok i am the only person prosecuting myself but hey ho) they were zeding in the living room so we were kinda confined to outside and keeping it down a bit. which severely limits a person.

so anyway previous to this i think i was doing a good job becuase they were feeling guilty at wanting to go back up north but live in a different town.

i did lots of “dh tell them they can’t leave, i love them being here” in front of them.  i went on job centre plus website found a few jobs for BIL.

i shit you not - once they move off the street - even to another street - it won’t be the same.

i betcha they will want to come down in the next couple of years.

HMcFck June 5, 2008

they have gone to the beach this morning - they took our dog and a kite and i gave em some money for ice cream.  They askesd me to go, but i think they really needsome time to talk about things.

BIL needs to be active and doing things all the time - and here there isn’t 20 people at his house - no one is calling on him to fix cars or swap  things.  i think they need to have some time to talk anyway.  its a huge cultural shift - no one is in your business here.

there is no hussle and bustle beyond your own family - and i don’t tink he can deal with that.

SIL keeps threatening to make pies

OMG i can’t eat her pies. i can’t.

HMcFck June 4, 2008

they arrived at around 5am and went to bed.  they currently have a tent pitched in the back garden - shit you not - this tent has their kids in it.

SIl had prepared tea, done two lots of washing, bought a washing line and pegs, hung them out, hoovered landing and stairs.

 

she can stay

Holy McFuck part 2 June 4, 2008

the bil, sil and two kids went home this afternoon a least a 5 hour drive. things weren’t ok - can’t say too much so tey are staying at a travel lodge tonight and coming back. this time the boyfriend (16) of the 15 year old is coming too.

 

i think they are resolved to stay.

 

my head is spinning - love them to bits but thats an extra 2 adults and 2 teenagers and a 5 year old.

 

i have to buy a blow up bed - my boy (15) is at a Monastary retreat thing wit school for a couple fo days - and a good job too becuase he has no where to sleep . we are both working in Londres tomoz so i have no fucking time to get to argos - might get online now actually and have a look.

 

i like certain things - i like siting together to eat - it facilitates comunication and embodies ‘family’ to me and we wont be able to dthat in one sitting.

 

i am going to hav to set up some routines - my kids already have chores - theirs will too. the bf can mo the lawns to start with.

the teen girl can errrrr, errrrrrr hoover stairs and landing. but thats not a daily job. errrrrrrrrrrr wipe over bathrom sink and pick things up?

 

remember how i always say i hate cooking?  well i  am fussy about how i like m food. so sil cooking isn’t an option on a dail basis and now i have to cook for errrrrrrrm 9 NINE people. holy MC FUCK

i think this is a culture shock they aren’t expecting. i aint shttin ya - moving away from family and friends - especialy a community in the traditional sense - like they are used to - is hard.  suddentl you are thown inward to your nuclear family without a buffer and its v. hard.

we have a moving date of 18th july.  i have told them they can stay here as long as they pay the rent.

 

dail dramas will ensue - keep looking becuse this shit will beat eastenders hands down

They have gone home June 3, 2008

BIL,SIL and 2 kids have gone home. they have been told that there will be no reprocussions.  I Really liked them being here, it sets a new dynamic between DH and I.  it would be nice to have somewhere just to pop round to have a brew if they moved here - which they say they will - but i recon once they get back home with their friends and family that they won’t move.  They have a 5 year old and a 15 year old - and both of them are as good as gold. i feel really sad that thye have gone

HOLY MCFuck June 2, 2008

i can’t even give you too much detail, but a big relationship split in the family.  Nans birthday, gun toting drugmen threatening extended family ( who have now come to live with us)

 

and i AINT shittin ya.

needless to say i am at work doing overtime

 

lots of different things really May 26, 2008

well its officially *that* day, will light a candle at church tomorrow.

had my 2nd drum lesson on saturday. it was truly fab - it makes me so happy. i am so glad igot the opportunity to do this.

On friday a message was left by the estate agent for the house we want o puchase, they said we might exchange next week.  this came as a complete “holy shit” shock to us. Dh has been washing clothes all day and tidied the bedroom. i did the bathroom thoroughly and then helped Ez with her room - which looks great now.

poor ds was left to his own devices, needless to say its still a shithole.

dh promises to to great tidying things on his week off next week.  sorting things out and getting somewhat ready.

 

all we seem to have done is packed books!

Dropped Ds’s GF, her sister, the sisters BF and EZ a Butlins today to see DS.  they had a great time and DS seems to be liking it a lot more. they didn’t go in Butlins becuase you have to pay - but tey all went to beack - EZ is really sun burned.

 

she and i are supposed to be having a girly day tomoz ( today) face masks, false nails, cheesy 80’s films and CAKE! we came to this decision after we had a long chat last week, she realised i missed her and that she misses me too - so we have designated time to each other - then i think later we are all going to see the new Indiana Jones movie.

Oh My God! May 24, 2008

 

Lucs makes phone call

 

cut to

 Lyndsey “hello”

cut to

payton “hello”

cut to

Brook “hello”

cut back to Lucas ” I have 2 tickets to Vegas.  Dya wanna come with me and get married?

End

 

OMG!  who?  arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

 

Kiss It! May 22, 2008

Ahhhhhhhhhhh…and breathe May 22, 2008

was ok - i didn’t blow anyones socks off, but i didn’t do bad either.

 

cheers

 

the ofer on mums house gone up by 5k - asking for another 2.5 and its SOLD

 

not counting chickens - but happier.

 

AT LAST, have started on George orwells 1984.

as is the way with us illiterate proles some literature classed as absolute classics are usually shit.  kurt vonnegut - is a bit shit, Catcher was the shittiest shit ever - but in my never ending quest to culturalisationise miself i march steadily forward.

in that light therefoe i can say that 1984 is completely the DOGS BITS MAN! It is fecking fabuloso - and i always new - its like a cultural thing within society how Orwell predicted stuff

 

the man predicted text messenging

the BB stuff is fecking amazing -  mean i an about a uarter of the way through the book.  Winston has just started his diary and  we ave just leared that he was once married and he did a minger prozzie.

 

theres not alot of story consideringwhere we arein the book, when Tolkein waffled ( oh boy did that man waffle) abou the hills and valleys of mordor and fangorn woods and he stuck a pissin’ elvish song that only sad fecks like dh actually read - EVEN with LOTR my favouratist book ever i was lke “ffs Tolky…get on with it”

but i am so not  - bang up my street this book, the proles need to rise up to make a change, thought police, BB, OMG  i have not been this excited since i read my very first Pratchett book 3 years ago.

 

well chuffed.

 

who suggested that anyway?

 

thanks whoever it was

HOLY GUACAMOLE May 22, 2008

prsentation to board, just off to get train.  holy shit , holy, shit holy shit,

 

say prayers for me.

Offer on House and other stuff May 21, 2008

we have had an offer on the house, a neighbour actually wants it for his mother! they are being a bit cheeky though so we have asked for a bit more - will update when i find out more. I was looking at replacing the front windows too! got a man to go do a quote and everything.

 

got my board presentation tomorrow - in front of like 6 directors, at least one of the hates me.

 

shiot shit and double shit - say prayers for me!

May 21, 2008

did the report about the report - work was ok.  got a tezt from EZ just after 11am saying that school was rubbish and everyone was picking on hr and that she needed picking up NOW.

i said tough

she said she realy needed picking up or she was going to walk out fo school - i said i would ring her at lunch “well then i will just go through HELL!!!!!” she replied.

turned into a bit of a ‘thing’ when i got home - like i can just leave work and ake her out of school if i even waned to! it was a ncie evening and we ate pizza in the garden - we shouted at frst and then talked a lot and she said she relaised that she hasnt talked to me for ages and i told her that i can onl make decisions and form opimions on te information i get from her and from school - so in the absense of information - well i just have to do what i can - so we talked for ages and she wants a girlie day on BH on Monday.

I am married to a GOD May 20, 2008

working in London all day today - was a long bloody day too, 4 meetings. Mid morning i decide to ring DH - just ‘cos. He was working in Lewisham today

“well, i’ve had  a new one today” he says

“oh really”

“well this Chinese guy started praying to me”

“what?”

” am not kidding…all fours on the floor, bowing to me”

“what?”

“am not shittin’ you, this guy started praying to me…..the ambulence men took him away eventually”

…i am by this time pissin’misel’ laughing ” i think its cos i look like bhudda”  says dh.

“i am so bloggin this shit” says i!

my meetings went well.  i had my monthy appraisel and the issue of the e-mail from bitch features came up.  My new boss is the gentlest man - huge - mahooosively tall but really kind.

“noticed the e-mail from xxxx” he said

“yeah, i think there was probably ault on both sides, perhaps i s hould have phrased things differently”

“erm, hmmm  i’m not sure” he said ” in any case, it was a huge over reaction by xxxxx” he said

<silent inward preen> phew

has to go up to bitch features, was so funny i think she was expecting a confrontation and all i had to ask her about was being included in some training programme she is sorting out for the whole department ” maybe you cn deliver some as well” bith features said in kinda mini arse lick way ” sure, course no problem” says i. :-))

last meeting with a directr over a report that i am giving to the board. i have read and re- read te fucking thing a million times, there is no one else in my team - asi am the only one, everyone else in the ofice was hyper busy becuase we have an inspection coming up. Dh didn’t have computer access at work, and it was a rush job with amendments that followed after the reference group suggestions.

anyway like in the first fucking sentance ther was a capital ‘I’ for initial <shit> and the spell checker - checked e.g. as egg <double shit>

honest to fuck its hard enough being a northern monkey becuase all kinds of assumptions are made about you  eing as thick as a donkeys donger anyway <twats selfround head>

anyway, the upshot is i was supposed to be working closer to home tomorrow  ( might still do but not sure if i have keys) and the Director and m boss gave me a gazillion other additions to present on Thursday.

am so tired. was on train at 8 am didn’t get home til 6.30  came home had a brew and a chuckle with DH - who beat me home for once ( and so he cooks tea!!) then i had to go pick Joe up from Butlins as he has another day off and wants to come home

OK guys - i am living vicariously here - 18 year old - Butlins.

it doesn’t take a genius to work out what is supposed to happen

FUN FUN FUN

he hates it. but he has only been there a week. two more weeks and he can transfer.  he gets on ok with other people but  he comes  home so he doesn’t get intotrouble.

FFS JOE ….get into fking trouble for Christs sake. Get drunk and do crazy things make some memories.

i give up with him i do - he moans about the work, he doesn’t have funl, he works then watche tv in the evening

 

YOUR AT FUCKING BUTLINS…..BUTLINS

i have no words.

 

he isn’t coming home - i got them words!

 

so Ez comes in, sits next to me. startstalking to me. ” what do you want” says i knowing that this sudden interest in me after ignoring me and notspeaking to me for ages isn’t becuase hse sudden’y loves me.

“right mum, i am goign to do nice things for you first before i ask you”

gift horse…. mouth…

” cheers i’ll have a brew”

“shall i feed the dog”

” yes please”

she sits next to me again - i am watching One Tree Hill that she has already seen. <chuckle> ” oh your p to this bit….oh yeah this is so good innit?”

i ignore her - she cant hold her own piss

“right mum, i will tell you all my secrets - i mean ALL of them. it wont cost you any money, i wont ask you for the hardback of hat book i want and when the next moonlight book comes out i wont take you up on the ‘books are free’ thing i’ll word for it”

“and it wont cost me a penny?”

“No, nothing.”

“let me guess, a friends mum wants you to go on holiday with them”

“no”

“does it involve beer, fags, drugs sex”

“no”

“hmmmm” perplexed ” ok, so no beer, fags, drugs, sex, doesn’t cost money, i get to know all your secrets and you actually work for the book you want! what is it?”

“can i please go to butlins overnight? Danni is going ( Joes GF) and Tash and her boyfriend ( the GFs SIster) and they are going to pay. i will be in my chalet for 10pm, promise, Joe knows everyone and he will keep me safe……pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase”

“no”

so back to normal then. got a brew though and she was nice for about 3 mins.

been watching OTH all night. cocking addictive.

I just realised something May 19, 2008

This time last year, my mum would have been dead.  i didn’t  find her until the 26th but she had been there for a couple of weeks which means she would probably have been dead even though the death certificate says otherwise.

 

<pause>

i have lots of thoughts and nothing i can write down properly. I mourn her death and feel sorry for myself.  this is in opposition to celebrating her life- which i am not and feeling sorry that she isn’t here. which i guess i am not. - so there are feelings ascribed to that too. like a play within a play.

i am going tosave my grieving until the 26th. there has to be  a day  - i can’t mourn whole weeks of maybes.

 

Why are You Here? May 19, 2008

If it is becuase you followed the tread from mumnset?  Then think about that for a second.

 

The only reason you are here is becuase someone started that particular thread.

On average dear reader i get about two  thirds less traffic.  Once you have a wordpress blog, you get a ’stats’ page, as well as the stats, i can see where people have come from - what site brought the here and if they click anything on my site.

 

i haven’t named any names here. and Mumsnetters don’t flock here en mass

 

so whats the point of that thread? there is a point to this, do not be mistaken or pulled in by certain posters.

first of all  - if you have come here to see what the fuss is about, take a look around.  Is this a blog about mumsnet - custy naming names of people she has argued with.?

 

no, My blog is ‘kids went to dentist… i had a row with dh and i got pissed last saturday ‘  why is someone pointing out ONE  post and magnifying it?

 

i’ll tell you.  They think that they are goin to get MN towers to wade in and ban me. Lets face it i am about as popular in MN towers as syphillis in a convent

go on - look around.

 

now admit  to yourself - your a bit disapointed? its about kids, and dentists and work for the most part yes?

now, go back to mumsnet and take Note of the 4 protagonists in this thread. Just make a mental note.  becuase it ont be long before they do it again.

Now before someone cuts and pastes that on mumnset and says ” custy, how dare you try and suggest that we are bullying - that you are the victim”

 

yadda yadda - same old argument from then right?  well i am not.

 

i am simply saying. note the 4 people in that thread and the way they act particularly to rhubarb and i . Starting Threads on the bak of a two week old post on my blog.

 

make up your own minds - i assign no  feelings to this process.

am just saying….keep an eye out.

 

you will be back here one day in the future - becuase of one of those people.

 

 

Just Random Musings May 17, 2008

The stats are still up - i presume you are all still coming to look to see if i posted  “&*^$$*&^%* is such a (*&^ig  t**t ” to clap your hands in glee and  delight your sense of morbidity in being the spectator to the aftermath of last ights car crash. 

 

I can’t possibly believe that ou are now an avid reader of my bad typing and small life.  Blogs are funny things aren’t they?  i love to hve this outlet its like speaking to the world - you knowsomeone is listening - which is a bit different from a diary that no one will see, but it acts as a record.  sometimes i look back on what i post and think wow - that was a really beautiful sentiment - or - OMG lisa, your such a twat!

yesterday at work ( i work in brighton, i have to tell you this becuae brighton is very ‘right on’ and hippy in a trendy way) this guy that i worked with started to tell me that his wife had done this course in TTC naturally and she was looking for couples to work with so if i new anyone to pass it on  - so i told him that she should really try some parenting sites and i told him that the site that i use is fab, when i had been skint they sent me vouchers at xmas, we get drunk in brighton and we have xmas doos, but i told him thathere is a massive online community out there and that his wife would really benefit from it - becuase there are loads of people intreasted in the TTC thing. 

 

I open mymouth beore i even think what i was saying.  then a feeling of absolute dread came over me - he can’t possily know which site i go on - i would be instantly recognisable and my whole life is there. and its one thng for other mumsnetters to read it an then we go out and get pissed and they know a little of your personal life - as would a friend - but collegues are not frends - and there is this professional relationship that one had to maintain ” which one is it that you go on” he asked as i knew he would

“i’m not telling you that” says i” i’ll give you a list”

caught my trousers on the door catch of the dar - big fucking split all the way down the bastard arse - here i am - say in them

i mean it was hole in tights yesterday. Jeez.

 

we are off out tonight - POOL 10p shit - you - not.

its usually a pound in our local pub and we can get taxi there and back and prob still save money.

the last time we went it hd a kareoke on - but that was a Friday - lets see what Sat holds in store. 

ayway blogsare a strange animal. they seem private but at the same time they aren’t - you want someone to listen to what your saying. and knowing that someone might is great. especially when its someone you dont necessarily know

i have deleted any reference to this one from my MN one. This is mine. you can’t censor me here - if i want to call someone that i have had dealings with throughout the day - that has treated me badly  - then i will

 

its what this place is for.

 

this is my space. MINE i can do what i like here.  if a manager is a twat during the day at work i will comment on it - if during my social time i go on another website and someone is a twat to me there i might comment on it.

what was so nice to see last night was the amount of people who didn’t just take sides, i think itsreally realy a testement to mumnset that a bunch of posters went away - found the other thread refered to - read it and then came back and posted their opinion based on what they read.  MNetters whom i haven’t had any particlar dealings with actually saying ” hold on a minute”

I have been looking how to get to Duinrell driving. we are going with my cousin and her partner and two children - her children are much younger ad they have the initial drive of the 5-6 hours down to me first. it looks like it takes 3.5 - 4 hours to drive there from the chunnel. which is quite a nice time actually. we are only going for a week - but i cant tellyou how much i am looking forward to it -thisbeing a recommendation from a MNetter - it sounds perfect with a water park actually on the site.

the boys will ride bikes aand chat up girls Ez will sulk a lot unless there are teens of the EMO/goth persuation - we usually g n hols for 2 weeks and it always takes her best part of a week to find a friend - she hags around us like flies on shit.

we have always gone camping bar once.  an i am really looking forward to it cos we are going in a caravan - with a PORCH - what luxury

 

well tonight was bizarro May 17, 2008

was a bit bizarro the whole thing, nevertheless i have to say hand on heart may my kids have constipation, it was one of the best nights in i have had in a long time.  Mumsnet was great then Rhuby rang me up and from there i was just in fits of hysterics.

 

had a hole in m tights all fucking day and didn’t notice - i was strutting round like i was the dogs ‘n’ all, y’ know when an outfitcomes together and *you* know that you look damned good? well that was me and i did the strut and te strut strut

 

then when i got home dh pointed it out and then ds said ” oh yeah i notide it this morning”  well shit.

 

made misel’ a brew and am now in bed  avec laptop. with mini hangover becuase i have been sipping since i dunno 7pm ish?

excellent night

 

c’mon people you can do it May 16, 2008

Blog Stats

Total Views: 6,977

Best Day Ever: 897 — Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Views today: 862

 

wow

talk about back fire pmsl

I can’t thank you enough. May 16, 2008

My reader ship had literally doubled. in the space of one hour

come - in make yourself at home

Don’t forget - RHubarb also has a site

rhubarb1.wordpress.com

————-

 make that tripled

Entree May 16, 2008

Do come in all you MN car crash watchers.

to navigate the site please use the menu to your right.

you are welcome to leave comments

housewife May 15, 2008

there are some fucking freaks

my biggest Tag search

“housewfe”

 

 

ds1 is fine May 15, 2008

phoned him last night, he is sharing a chalet with 4 other lads, he tels me they have 2 fridges - one for beer he says that he is off on saturday but is staying there becuase he is getting drunk

 

okay then - you like it i take it

 

great.

 

shhhhh - got a bonus from work - haven’t got a fucking clue why

 

am not telling.

 

dh said ” whats an acting up bonus” now ther are many doublee ntentres to ths but it was twenty to seve and i was fucked ” what the shit?” said i elequently

“you got an acting up bonus”

i am on a secondment - and i am being paid accordingly

 

we do get a pay rise but we get it n increments throughout the year

 

well i’m not saying anything - am off to oldham to get wankered in 2 weeks

Bitch May 15, 2008

so got an e-mail getting me into trouble from some fucking bitch at work.

i dont hold a grudge - but that fucker is going down.

 

What? You can’t just pick up the fucking phone with your gripe?  You have to put it in an e-mail and ‘cc’ my manager in on it?

 

thats ok you fucking cunt - i’ll wait.

DS LEAVES HOME May 12, 2008

son leaves home today for his butlins job

i am sad

and happy

 

he and his brother had huge row.  both of them did really shitty things  ds 2 stole his phone and hid it at a friends - there was talk that he was going to swap it or something.

 

ds1 went nuts - and i cant even write down what happened

 

needless to say on the eve of ds1s departure both my sons aren’t talking to each other

 

i keep getting told that they will get over it and ds1 told me that ds2 will calm down and it will be alright

ds2 was sobbing

 

i dont know what to do really, i have thought about letting the twins take tomorrow morning off school but ds1 will only be going to his girlfriends anyway so there won’t be much in way of reparation and long goodbyes. i would rather that ds1 stayed here and sorted his stuff out - helped with his ironing - i will have to buy him tome athletes foot thingy and  i think i should get him some condoms - y’ know just in case.

 

it could be an incentive - y’know bribary for forgiveness ” i’ll let you stay off school if you forgive your brother”

its a big ask though. I’m not sure whether bribary will cut it this time.

 

dd is gutted ds1 is leaving - gutted.  they have been hanging out together a lot becuase ds1’s GF is the big sister of dd’s BF.

she was crying today.

 

imight let them stay off as long as they promise to stay here and try and work things out before he leaves.  i just hope that ds1 hasn’t shit it.

 

thinking about it - it is really for the best that he gets away for a bit. he can be such a twat sometimes.

 

will update later

 

UPDATE

they made friends  - dropped ds1 off

didn’t cry

hope he’s ok

 

thats it